A Load of Good Ol' Fashioned Crap
I've been wanting to post during the last few days but for some reason every time I sit in front of the computer it feels like writing would be too much of an effort. Given that unfortunate state of affairs, I have decided to just write something, anything, no matter how crappy, just to see if I can get my drive for writing "un-stuck." I think part of the problem is a short story that I've been writing since the summer. At any given moment I think that I'm just days away from finishing it, but it somehow has continued to drag on for months. The worst part is that, actually, I have not even written that much. It can't be more than two pages (single spaced). And I don't even know if it's going to work or not. At first it seemed really straightforward, but once I started writing it, it really began to get me into all sorts of trouble. Now I think I've finally found a way to make the story work, but I'm not sure whether I'll get my self in a pickle again once I summon the strength and patience to sit down and work on it. I was supposed to finish it during this Christmas break, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.In other news, I've started looking for a job since it actually seems like in less than six months I'll be Penn alum. It's very difficult to believe that undergrad is almost over since I really still feel like a freshman (though smarter and better looking, of course). At the same time, by now I've started getting excited about graduation and having a "real" job. It's somewhat of a surreal experience to think that I probably will be getting a salary, one of those strange things that you hear about from older generations. From what I've heard, it works a little bit like a drug: it becomes a real necessity and you always need it in larger quantities. My plan, however, is to kick the habit in one or two years, in order to go to grad school. The problem is that I have simply no clue what I would want to study. I know that I want to learn much, much more, but grad school is much more focused than undergrad so I don't know what to pick. I sort of wish I could take an extra two years of random classes for pleasure; that would be amazing! Especially if I didn't have to worry about my GPA. But in any case, I'm still excited about graduation, it looks like a pretty intense experience.
Also, next semester I'm going to be writing my senior International Relations thesis. I'm quite enthused about it. I still don't know what specific issue I'm going to be dealing with, but it's probably going to have something to do with the Church and European international relations during the latter half of the 20th Century. If you know of any development during this period that you think would be good to explore, please let me know, I'm still shopping around for stuff to analyze. I'm thinking of posting my progress up on the blog as I go along, that way you guys can help me out with your comments.
And now let's go back to the jobs thing. I just can't seem to be able to decide what kind of job I would want. The problem is that I want a job in which I can help people, think and use my analytical skills, write, and get paid a decent amount. I also want a job that will look good on a grad school application, and hopefully one which allows me to stay within a two-hour radius of Philly. These restrictions end up making my job search pretty difficult. Every job that I might like for one reason, ends up failing on another level. Thus, jobs that I might enjoy would either not be likely to help me get into grad school, or pay salaries that are less than ideal. Of course, I really have no right to whine, since my prospects of getting a job are still looking fairly good, which is more than a lot of people can say. And yet I can't help but wonder: could there not be an eccentric billionaire out there willing to pay me for blogging, pseudo-philosophizing and just having fun? Such people ought to exist.
Wow, what a long and boring post. Sounds like something out of LiveJournal. Dear readers, I sincerely apologize. Please don't hate me.
posted by ertandberni @ 1:03 AM
<< Home