Whistling Your Way Through Life
In my time, I have heard many people say that it would be an awesome thing if they could have a soundtrack to their life - I couldn't agree more. Soundtracks tend to make things more exciting, since they can intensify any particular mood through what I can only call "musical emotions" (you know what I mean). Besides, by simply watching out for the onset of ominous notes, one could avoid such tragic actions as heading down specific alleyways/opening particular doors/befriending certain strangers that would be likely to lead to otherwise imminent catastrophes. This method, of course, would not be very helpful for those it's-a-lazy-summer-day-and-I-just-got-done-taking-a-long-crap-while-reading-the-Sunday-comic-strips-when-a-huge-freakin'-seven-eyed-dog-jumps-on-me-as-I-open-the-bathroom-door sort of frights, but come on, it would be better than nothing. Yes, a soundtrack to life could certainly come in handy. Indeed, since it would doubtless increase one's chances for survival, I am rather surprised (or even disappointed!) that it has not yet been developed through the process of natural selection.Of course, since this type of soundtrack is currently somewhat of an impossibility, most people simply complain a bit and leave it at that. Blatant mediocrity, I say! If you can't have an automatic life-soundtrack, why don't you just make one up? I am a strong advocate of whistling your way through life (although humming, imitating instruments, or even singing, can be worthy alternatives). Whistling to yourself during long walks, when working out, or while procastinating in your dorm room can make the experience more than twice as enjoyable. You can even experiment with various genres to suit your particular mood. Whistling to yourself is a supremely enjoyable experience almost-guaranteed to lift up your spirits and add that elusive spring to your step.
Doubtless, at this point the naysayers must be thinking that, enjoyable as it may be, such a soundtrack could not compare to an automatic one, since it would be utterly devoid of any features likely to increase their safety. As is generally the case, however, these pessimists are the victims of uncreative thinking. Indeed, self-made life-soundtracks can serve as effective security devices, if properly used. Allow me to illustrate. Imagine, for example, that for some reason or other you find yourself lost in the middle of a dangerous ghetto at 2:35 a.m. If you had an automatic soundtrack, the music would start getting pretty ominous, pretty quickly. But what could you do in this case? Not much, except listening to the frightful theme and saying your prayers (or if you're not religious, converting). On the other hand, a self-made soundtrack would give you a chance at survival in this most dire of situations. Indeed, if you began frantically busting out the theme from Jaws (or other fearful sort of music) while scurrying around all over the place like a man persecuted by an invisible being, you would be much more likely to make it through the night. Seeing such an obvious lunatic on the street, even dangerous (yet sane) criminals would probably try to stay away, while some kind soul might even decide to call a mental hospital to pick you up (thus rescuing you from your current dilemma). Think about it in this way, would you want to be anywhere near yourself in such a state? I think not my friend. Clearly, the self-made soundtrack can save you from perils that even the much-hyped automatic soundtrack cannot.
As we have seen, because of its pleasurable uses as well as its security applications, the self-made soundrack reigns supreme in the land of musical themes to life. Do yourself a favor and get one as soon as you can. Go ahead, whistle.
posted by ertandberni @ 1:56 AM
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