My Addictions
I crave knowledge. I really do. You know how in high-school, when you were applying to college they sent you all these silly brochures telling you what a "stimulating, challenging environment" you would find? You know how they would always talk about how at whatever the particular school was, there you could find a place that would be apt for the pursuit of knowledge? You remember how in light of this you said "yeah right?" I do. I mean, not that I didn't care about learning, but I didn't crave knowledge. Now I do. I wish I could take it all in faster, and I wish I was not so lazy about actually seeking it. These is SO MUCH TO LEARN OUT THERE. You have no idea. Really. It turns out that it really is true that the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know anything. Seriously. I feel like a complete ignoramus. There will never be enough time in this life to take it all in. And that is just awesome, I think.Who would have ever thought that I would really feel like this one day? I crave truth. I'm in love with it, in fact. But it always seems to stay one step ahead of me; that much I've figured out. When will I finally be able to grab on to wisdom? I see it, it's just ahead of me, but I can never quite reach it. And you know what? That's awesome too. I think its great that so many works, so many beauties of this world are still out there, waiting to be discovered. There is just so much to learn that there is no way we can even begin to begin to comprehend it. I love that.
You know what else I crave? I crave love. I crave beauty. I can never seem to get enough of these. Not because I'm not surrounded by love and beauty a-plenty, but I think rather because I am. There are so many wonderful people and so many beautiful things that I know. But love and beauty are addictive. You really can't get some without wanting more. And you know want? Once again, that is simply great. Because love and beauty point us upwards, they remind us that we have souls. They work on our hearts like a hard (but lovely) slap across the face reminding us that we can never be reduced to set of particles, atoms and chemical reactions. Either that, or existence is a superstition. But then it is a glorious, grand, and mighty superstition. Terrible at times? Yes, no doubt. But what an amazing dream reality is. We haven't even begun to understand the mystery of a blade of grass.
Many people think that Heaven means of a bunch of people with wings playing harps on a cloud. I've heard that it means an eternal learning, an unending love affair, an interminable contemplation of the source of all love and truth and beauty and knowledge and wisdom. Nay, it means standing before love and truth and beauty and knowledge and wisdom themselves. Always. Forever.
I can barely wait. Good thing He came down here so that all this can start - now.
posted by ertandberni @ 1:42 AM
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